I Don't Need a TV.
"Wow! You're place is huge, and it's so beautiful! Huh... you don't have a TV?"
No. No I don't have a TV. I didn't want a TV and for some reason or another, everyone and their mother (including my own), thinks it is bizarre I don't have a TV. That is until my Grandmother died.
Her death was one of the hardest things I ever had to deal with and grieve. I am still grieving. Ironically, one of the things her and I used to do on the regular when I went over there, was watch TV. But it was okay. Because it was her TV.
She would ask, pretty much every time I went there what shows I was watching, if I watched reruns of "our" shows, which were really her shows but became "our" shows, such as Chicago PD, Blue Bloods and SNL. "No Grandma, I don't have a TV, remember?" And she would look grim at me and as if I were an alien and reply,
"Oh ya, why is that?"
"Because I don't want one, I would rather do other things with my time, Grandma. Plus when I do watch TV, it's a treat because it's always with you!"
She would smile and we would continue to watch our shows. The best show to watch though, was when "Late Night with Stephen Colbert" would come on. Though I am a fan of that show, the show I am referring to was Grandma watching his show. My God she loved that show, him and did she LAUGH! I would be there for an entire weekend and she would never laugh as much as when that man came on to perform his monologue. I am pretty sure she didn't hear half of what he said, but she would still laugh from her belly up and it was the most precious thing that I looked forward to every time I went there-- in addition to our morning coffee and toast.
"Do you watch him at your house? He's hilarious!"
"No, Grandma, I don't have a TV, remember?"
"Oh yeah, you should get one, because he's a riot!"
We had our routines when I was there, but the majority of my visit was facing the "idiot box" as one of my former teachers used to call it. My Grandmother was not an idiot, let me tell you. But that term never escaped me. It really did shut me off from wanting to turn the TV on and eventually from even wanting one.
After Grandma passed, the family took some time to grieve before we dealt with the house, an old victorian in the Belvedere neighborhood of Lowell, Massachusetts. The family went through everything, from socks, to furniture, from forks and knives to her giant "Christmas Village" collection. During this time, nearly every time I went over, someone would ask,
"Lisa, you want a TV? Come on, take it!"
"No, I don't want a TV, why does everyone want me to have a TV?" "Because you need one."
Do we really need anything aside from the essentials? That whole experience taught me a few things:
Even if I took everything in that house, hell, even the house itself, it wouldn't bring Grandma back.
I have more memories of her than I realized.
Even though I spent a lot of time with her, it still wasn't enough.
Material possessions (though I sort of already knew this) really mean nothing compared to people and love. And ya know, necessities, like food, water, shelter and clothing.
I really didn't want a TV.
But I caved. I took one. Mainly to just get everyone off my back. It seemed like a weird obsession. Why are people so uncomfortable with the idea of me not owning a TV? Maybe they wouldn't know where to start with hobbies and the like if they suddenly found themselves without a TV. Who knows.
Sure I like to watch movies and catch up on shows here and there, but I have a big desktop computer, a laptop and my phone if I really needed to watch something. It dawned on me that people are probably uncomfortable because, it's just "what you do", what society tells you that you need. That at the end of the day, when you have had a long day and just need to sit and veg out in front a TV, if you don't have one, my God, what on earth do you do??
Read
Write
Manage business
Meditate
Yoga
Nap
Cook
Paint
Try to crochet
Have friends over
Have family over
Go out
Work out
Have a cup of tea
Have a glass of wine
Play with my cat, Ash
Garden
These are just "a few" of the many things I love to do as hobbies that I did when I did not own a TV. Then... the TV got set up. Then I got a Roku. Then I got subscriptions to pay for, so I could watch TV. Then I found myself almost every night watching TV and my hobbies got away from me. It's sort of like a relationship that consumes you and you lose yourself in it and everything that made you, you, subsides. Sure people can be disciplined enough not to let TV rule their life. But am I? Hell no!
Recently I made a decision. I wanted better for my life. I wanted to dive back into me, my hobbies, life! And I made the somewhat "hard" decision to pass along my TV to another family member.
How freeing it is to sit down to watch TV and realize it's not there anymore and instead, there are books, plants and candles. My living room feels more peaceful without this giant black box staring at me ominously, tantalizing me to watch something and waste my time watching other people's lives for entertainment, and they aren't even real lives! I have already finished 2 books since having unplugged, literally, and have found myself a little happier already. More at peace and getting things done. Though I will always cherish my time with Grandma watching TV, and I know she probably is looking down on me thinking it's still strange, but is proud that I am sticking to my values, myself and diving back into things that truly spark joy in my life. And to be honest, isn't that what life is all about?
Living it.
