Taking Off with God.
I am terrified of flying. No. Scratch that. I am TERRIFIED of crashing. The fear has worsened as I have gotten older. I have a good friend who is a captain for Delta Airlines and he is constantly trying to assure me that pilots do everything in their power to ensure safety because their life is on the line too. That never occurred to me, but I guess that is true. However, at the end of the day, it comes down to science and God. Many would argue with that last combination of words, one way or another, but, that is where I stand.
I had a dream last night that I was at the airport in a corner waiting for my flight. No idea where I was going, who I was going to see, but the TV screen said somewhere in Pennsylvania. I have always been fascinated by that state and have wanted to live there-- no reason, just an inkling. But I digress. I ran into my aunts who were traveling home to their "winter house" in Florida and they said that they were flying out of this gate too. I looked at the TV and it now said Cincinnati-- what?! That is not PA or FL at all... connecting flight? I thought I was at the wrong gate, they changed my gate, something! So I ran back to security to go back where I started to ensure that I was at the right gate or ask someone where my gate was. The woman assured me that I had been at the right gate but that I had to wait, that another flight was going out before mine. A small change of plans, but I was at the right gate. "You are just really early for yours," she smiled and I smiled back knowing the only thing I am ever early to is a flight. I will be late to my own funeral, but a flight, rest assured, I will be the first passenger at the gate.
I went back to my seat in the corner near my aunts who were getting ready to board their flight and I realized that this flight was my flight and I needed to get on. I boarded the plane and the pilot, who looked more like a bus driver, said I was lucky to be the passenger selected to sit up front and "co-pilot". A front seat view to a possible death? No thank you, select someone else. I'm good. He insisted that I was the one to be up front. Shaking, I put my seatbelt on asking why I didn't have a fighter jet strap across my chest and he laughed it off. This is no time for jokes, I thought, I am not being modest, I thought. But, there I was, with one strap across my lap and we started to taxi away.
"What are you scared of? This is the most liberating thing you can experience! You get to be up front!" I stared at him worriedly. "Ohhh, come on, you will be fine. I've got this. I won't let anything happen to you." He calmly said.
"OH NO IT'S TOO EARLY FOR TAKE OFF WHAT ARE YOU DOING??" I screamed at him as we slowly started to rise off the ground only to slowly come back down, almost as if we were in a car riding the roller coaster back country road. "I told you, I've got this," he insisted, calmly. "We ride out the air to see where the air pockets are so I know how to handle the plane and ensure your safety." Then, in a calm and matter of fact tone I simply said, "Okay," and we took off.
That pilot was God. I have no doubt in my mind. God spoke to me last night. And what helped me to that conclusion was reading about seeing planes in dreams and what they mean.
I am currently going through a few transitions in my life in my business, taking on a few new projects, in relationships, navigating what I want and don't want, what I will tolerate and what I won't, what I deserve and what I don't, discovering the real difference between lust and love and asking God to help me navigate the difference. "End lust, find love" I heard while meditating the other night. Clear as day. What a shift in perception and clarity in my life and past relationships. Have been having a lot of conversations with God lately and rediscovering my faith, learning more about what it is to be a good person, a truly good person, what my purpose in life is and finally detaching from my past so that I can move forward.
Sometimes, I think we feel we know the right path, and we believe we are making the right decisions and at times, we feel alone through that navigation and we need to take a step back, maybe retrace our steps to find where we started on this journey of life and somehow get a nod from someone, some reassurance that "yes, you are on the right path" or "gate". New need to be reminded of patience and that sometimes when we are ready, maybe it isn't the right time, but our time will come. And while on that path we need to be reminded that God has us. That we need to trust in the Divine spirit, whatever that means for you, even if it is the grand energy of the universe, that you are exactly where you need to be. God, source energy, what have you, has you! You need to trust it! And sometimes, yes, you may think things are moving too fast, they are happening before you are ready, but in the end, God has you. He knows what is best for you and knows when you are ready, even if you aren't sure yourself.
"What are you scared of? This is the most liberating thing you can experience! You get to be up front! Ohhh, come on, you will be fine. I've got this. I won't let anything happen to you."
Shouldn't we have a front seat to our lives and be relieved the God has the wheel and is right there next to you? I think when you can sit back, relax and know and trust that God has the wheel, and you can calmly submit to God and say, "Okay," that is when your life really gets to take off.
